Trying to be poetic (2) – Tenses (2)

But there is nothing as humanizing as the past.

As the lowercase D slips down the alphabet, plummeting into its fitting place behind everything you believed in, doubts and insecurities mutate into their hideous, malicious forms, engulfing you. Your love for tranquil nights was replaced by her fervor for the neon lights and bright beams – you began to enjoy the glitz and the glam; and only when she left did you realize she was the only light you have ever seen. You grew accustomed to her messy hair strands in the shower, her slurred words in the night, her flimsy embraces.

But she grew sober, too sober for your liking, to see through your thoughts, your intentions, your desires. You began to feel conscious – patching up your flaws, hiding shared bottles of liquor, pulling down your sleeves. Her scars on her wrists disappeared, forgetting the ones growing on your heart; her nights filled with other people, yours filled with the serene ambiance you once desired – and you turned your loneliness into words; when she can’t fill up your nights, you chose to fill up pages of fading emotions.

As she left, you are rendered a mess with burnt up photographs and crumbled up notes, the remnants of your love, fragments of your history, spilled emotions and booze.

Trying to be poetic (2) – Tenses (1)

Some say there is nothing more heart-wrenching than the future.

Seeing you dissipate into the obscure crowd as people and time pull us apart; Tasting your frosty, bitter goodbyes; Hearing the screeching wind past us by as you took a step back; Letting go of your hand just like your heart has let go of me; Wondering if the warm California sun would melt away your frigid demeanor; Handing you a suitcase void of memories – as if you were the occasional tenant in someone’s life, leaving minor, almost imperceptible scratches on the wallpapers, tiny blotches on the furniture, a faint, lingering scent in the room; Questioning if you thought it was for the best, to clear up room for another occupant, perhaps a permanent one.


Trying to be poetic (1) – Colours of the rainbow (Part 2)

Green: Her words, her fury, her jealousy; His denial, his refusal, his Gallic shrug; Her hesitance, the stains on the face, his calloused palm; Promises to turn over a new leaf, the perennial spring, the fresh smell of leaves wafts up.

Blue: Her sorrows, his misery, they swallow; Shared blue curacao, her pills on the floor, his midnight blues staring into her cerulean ones; ‘Why?’he demanded, ‘I was feeling the blues’ was her reply,the cobalt shades spilling on the floor.

Purple: Her pallid face, her icy hands, the lifeless stare; Fingers grazing against her skin, her dress wet, his brow furrowed; 911, he pressed, calm and cold, stated the facts. The twirling of the red and blue, the alarm bells, the zipping up of the body bag.

A myriad of shades, her demise;

Trying to be poetic (1) – Colours of the rainbow (Part one)

Red: Her dancing shoes, her bold lips, her passionate love; Her warm embrace, her vivacious laugh, her lingering perfume; The way she entices everyone in the room; her red scarf floating in the air, mindless and airy; her fingers trailing down his back.

Orange: The dance hall, the chatter, the swirls; His strong cologne, her sweet scent, the intertwining of hands; The glowing on her cheeks, his hearty chuckle, the curtain call; Orange surrounds them: mellow, warm, dreamy.

Yellow: Sound of the crickets, the chirping of the birds, the lazy yawns; His mustard sweater, her lemon dress, their used highlighter; Some gold in October’s hair, fiery spurts, another blonde comes along; Yellow – the leaves, the flowers, their love;


Leaving (3)

She was fading quickly. The ivory white blended with her gown, the rate she was sprinting tells me that it was impossible to reach her. The distance is too long, my speed was too slow – for some queer reason nature had a way of sucking people into unfathomable dimensions, and she was one of the unfortunate experiments. I was just the control experiment, lacking of any reactants to push me forth. All I could see were the splashes she makes while running; the accelerating pace of her footsteps; the swaying of her soaked hair –

Something protruded my skin. Stabbed, to be more accurate. The stinging sensation rushed up, the sharp pain mangled with my frustrations, overwhelming my nerves. I looked back just to see tiny needles prickling my legs, these tiny objects covering most of my back, forming dots of blood and painting wiggly, irregular streaks of bright red. My vision started to blotch in crimson, the sourness of blood wafting to my nostrils, my thighs felt so powerless and tired. The needles kept sticking onto my skin, piercing my veins and blotching my pale skin with candy red coloration. The red came flooding in, at first drop-wise, then forming a puddle, and further on the road, began to faze in with the water.

It was pitch dark.


Leaving (2)

It was her hazel browns that caught my attention – sparkly and full of jovial exuberance. Her entrancing smile would light up the nose, her slight wrinkling of her nose, the intertwining of her slender fingers – everything about her was the epitome of beauty. Her angelic presence, her airy tone, her unintended chuckles, her rosy blush were all magnetic to attention and love. The way she brushed the strand of hair back, the way she covers her dainty mouth when she laughs, the way she focuses on her work with the pouted lips were engraved in my mind with intricate details.

All I could do was to run after her: to clench her forearm and pull her back before it was too late. The corridor glistened with an occasional raindrop that smeared on the walls, the sweat dripping from my forehead. I welcomed the patters of rain hitting on my body, the bouncing off my skin as I rushed to catch up with Alejandra’s pace.

As the miles stretched on, I realized there was no way I could go up to her and turn her back to where sanity lies. Curtain after curtain of rain splattered on me, obstructing my running. I was completely soaked from head to toe, with droplets of rainwater dangling from my bangs, mystifying my vision as I saw the white figure ahead of me frantically running along the endless passageway.

Biting down my lip, I summoned all of my strength as I charged with an unspeakable fury – my emotions swirling while our memories drip-dropped into mixture contained in my heart. While my sanity screamed for me to halt, to stop before I catch a cold in this pouring rain, telling me that there is no practical use when she is evidently miles away, my heart summons me to go straightforward. The blank walls flew past me as I stormed my way through the shower, her hair swaying past my face, her silly-sounding laughter whirled around, her slender fingers tapping my shoulders, everything about her were enveloping my mind – her floral scent invasive to my nostrils, her gentle touch making my skin tingle, her sweet voice ricocheting off the walls into my ears.

‘Why would you leave me deserted?’   

‘Why would you have the conscience to abandon me in this caliginous world?’

She replied with her resonating silence.